Random Anti-Jokes

All of our anti-jokes in no particular order. Please vote for your favorites and feel free to leave your comments.


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People are like drums.

If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Not Susie

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes.

They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Argon walks into a bar...

Nobody notices because argon is a tasteless, colorless, odorless, and nontoxic gas.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the guy fall off the top of his minivan?

Because someone threw an elephant at him.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

She had dementia.

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A fly buzzes in to a bar.

The bar tender promptly swats it with a fly swatter.

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