Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

She had dementia.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other?

I have no idea, I don't speak Japanese.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa...

a minute has passed.

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Why doesn't God like fruit Cake?

Because he doesn't exist

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A dog walks into a bar...

And is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas?

Presents

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