Two men walk into a bar...

Not it's just me, I'm really lonely.

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It does not matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

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People are like drums.

If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes.

They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why didn't Mary go to the party?

Because she wasn't invited.

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom?

Imprisonment for up to 20 years in an international detainment facility.

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What has 4 legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

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