How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
*Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.*
What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a lama?
An animal abuse lawsuit.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
What did one pancake say to the other pancake?
Nothing, there is no such thing as talking pancakes.
Argon walks into a bar...
Nobody notices because argon is a tasteless, colorless, odorless, and nontoxic gas.