What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a lama?
An animal abuse lawsuit.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
What did one pancake say to the other pancake?
Nothing, there is no such thing as talking pancakes.
Argon walks into a bar...
Nobody notices because argon is a tasteless, colorless, odorless, and nontoxic gas.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
And he's greeted with great respect, because he's such a talented actor.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.