Why can't the Asian girl drive?

Because she is only 12 and cannot get a driver's license.

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What leaves a bigger hole in your heart than breaking up with your girlfriend?

A bullet.

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Four blonde women are driving to Disneyland. They see a sign that says "Disneyland, turn left."

They do, and have a fun time at what many people consider to be the most magical place on Earth.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: A dead zebra.

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How do you get rid of a cold?

Turn the heating on.

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How do you get a clown off a swing?

Hit him with an axe.

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Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

*Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.*

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