Q: What would George Washington do if he was alive today?
A: Scream and start scratching at the top of his coffin.
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the batmobile?
A: Get in the batmobile.
I got 99 problems and I'm seeing a therapist about them.
Q: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A: A stab wound.
Q: If John has 50 candy bars and eats 20 how many candy bars does John have left?
A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.