Knock knock.

It's the landlord.

Rent is due.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Q: What do friends and trees have in common?

A: They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Q: What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?

A: Both are not a lamp.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: Still a deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the animal's species.

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Q: What did Goldilocks say to the three bears?

A: She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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