I ran into an old friend the other day.

I was arrested for driving under the influence.

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A fly buzzes in to a bar.

The bar tender promptly swats it with a fly swatter.

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What has fingernails and legs made of grass?

You, I was lying about the legs made of grass.

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What is a Jub?

Watch out! There's a flying elephant coming your way!

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Q:What group of people do cops target?
A:Criminals

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What has five fingers and looks human?

A severed hand.

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Why did the kid drop his phone?

He was hit by a runaway train.

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Why did the baby bird fall out of the tree?

Because someone shot a bullet in the air and the sound of the gun scared the baby bird who didn't know how to fly out of the tree, sending it to its death.

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