An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree and the owl turns to the squirrel and says....
Nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because its a bird of prey.

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Q: What is brown, and bad for your dental health?
A: A baseball bat.

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Q: What did the hobo say when he lost his jacket?

A: It's cold.

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When I was a child I always dreamed that someday I would live on a tropical island.

Then I grew up and realized tropical islands are wet, humid and infested with insects. Subtropical islands are much better suited to human habitation.

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Q: Why did the guy walk into a bank wearing a black ski mask?

A: Because his white one was in the laundry.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.

It hurt.

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Q: Why do girls like Justin Bieber?

A Because he is a talented singer/performer.

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Q: What is green, red, yellow, purple and orange?

A: Colors.

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Take your age and add five years to it.

That is your age in five years.

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Q: What do you call a fat hobo

A: Whatever his name his.

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